KIDS IN A CANDY SHOP

This Saturday night… around 11 thirts, we left dinner in search of cocktails (we found them BTW) and stumbled upon this Utopia.

This place is a dentist’s worst nightmare (or dream if he’s in it for the money). The walls are stacked with every kinda sugary goodness.

The best part was the owner who whispered to us that he wanted to play a trick on our friend who was there. The trick being sampling the sourest lolly in the shop. BOOM!

Enter unassuming ol’ mate who eagerly held out his hand for this “Surprise”.

He was de-lighted at first. Until his mouth started wigging out and his jaw locked.

*Notice the terror in his eyes.

We looked at the front of the lolly jar and it aptly warned:

“WARNING: MAY CAUSE MOUTH AND STOMACH IRRITATION”

FO DRIZZLE MA NIZZLE

So – it’s like, heaps rainy ‘n’ stuff.





Waking up in the morning is MUCHOS DIFFICULT.
I ride the snooze button all the way to panic o’clock and have to blast Dolly Parton’s 9-5 to get some inspiration and unfurl from my cocoon ‘o warmth.



Anywho… due to the amount of sky tears here are some warmer images for ya’ll to teleport yourself into.

MYSTIC RIVER (of disappointment)

I’m having one of those days where I want to be this:



But I feel more like this :



Although I do feel like my life has quasi-direction at the moment… given I went along to see a resident psychic (and potential Amway saleswoman) with one of my favourite people who swears by her.



*Dude seems to love this

I had visited said psychic once before... two years ago under said friend's encouragement.

She had the following prediction.

HER: You will meet a man… in Ireland.
ME: Result!!!
HER: Oh, no, wait… it’s an Irish pub.
ME: Oh.
HER: It’s an Irish pub out in the sticks… and you'll have burnt hair.
ME: ...


So I went from this....


*Fiddle-dee-dee potato

To this!!!

*Cheers!

So I was hoping for something a little more, hopeful second time around.

Not so much.

Basically I need to check into my measles history, I’ll meet a Geography teacher at an expo and I will pitch a fit in an airport.
Sounds awesome.

WARNING

I heard this story about a dude who had two loves in his life:

1) His kittens

2) Taking LSD

This guy loved to, ‘drop acid’ (is that how the kids say it?) and play with his kittens. Man, he loved those cats.
Anywho, ol’ mate decided to hang up his acid hat and join the real world, even if it meant no more rainbow unicorns sneezing golden sparkles. He wanted to be a respectable cat owner and member of society.

However, the only thing worse than withdrawing from LDS was the realisation that he didn’t actually own any kittens!!
He’d come to love them and was devo’ed they were gone (can they really be gone if they never even existed? Paradox much?).

The moral of this story?

Don’t do drugs kids. It will give you an unwarranted attachment to phantom pets.

"Did you feed the cats?"