RETURN

Fear not follower, I have returned!

My trip to the large apple was the shizznit but I have now slumped into somewhat of a post-trip funk.

And not as in Funk(y Town because it is not a place I want you to take me to) but the kind that looks like this:

Here are some American observation I made whilst away.

Like fashion and Broadway, Gay-ness is important.

All I wanted was a salad sandwich, which I guess is a keyword for 'explosion of fries all over my food'.

I has a slight M&Mgasm. Mmmmm, this one tastes like pastel shell.

A free seat is a free seat. Meanwhile I was totes stealth in getting this pic.

They have flags EVERYWHERE! Just in case you ever forget you're in America.

I had minor strokes from being overstimulated whilst shopping.

MIS TAKES

Mistakes happen.

Sometimes when they happen they are awesome.

SO MUCH FUNNY#2

So there's a new Keanu meme making the rounds and I'm totally OK with it.

Feel free to scroll on down and find the original Keanu meme - or maybe this will help.
http://theforwardforum.blogspot.com/2010/06/so-much-funny.html

Yeah! Shameless self promotion!

Anywho, he's eating in a helmet so some people decided it was the perfect opportunity to Photoshop him into a plethora of helmet-wearing-scenarios.

Here's the original:



Here's the awesome:

HOLIMIDAY (CELEMEBRATE)

So I’m a packin’ my bags and boarding a plane for the states. Amer – I – CAN!



More specifically, I’m heading to a little place called New York. Or Nuww Yawk as I now call it because I wanna sound as much like this champ’ as I can.



I was 14 when I last visited and I was accidentally left in Chinatown. By myself. For five hours.



I set up camp in a stairwell, convinced I was probably going to live there for the rest of my life (this was around the 4 hour mark).

Unhappy with the situation... I decided to wing it and just run.


You knew this pic was comin'



I ran for half and hour, in the rain, down Canal Street. As luck would have it I ended up right out the front of the hotel we were staying at and the peeps who were supposed to be looking after me* were having hot chocolates in the lobby.

*They didn't.

They looked up and were like, “Oh snap. We completely forgot about you!”




I never… ever forgot.

FREAKIN' SWEET!

I am a lady of simple tastes... which is probs why toast is my favourite food.

Also, being a writer, at times I'm kinda into that too. Then I had a thought... what if I could combine the two?

I hear you naysayer! "Toast AND writing? WTF? Never."

BOOM HATERS!

HECK YES!

It is a good day today people. I have my first follower… which may or may not be a member of my family – but I’m counting it as a win.

One whole follower (thanks sista! You be the best sista ever).

Someone also left me in charge of figuring out some budgeting thing at work. If you know me (which my one follower does) you’ll know that maths is my kryptonite.

At my first full-time job when I left school I ordered 2,000 (wrong number) A2 (wrong size) letterheads. I also accidentally posted $50 to the tax office because my boss gave me a $50 note to buy a stamp. When I got to the post office I was like ‘Huh? Oh, must be for the tax office - into the envelope you go little buddy’.

My bad? Yes, my bad indeed. Turns out that the tax office considers that a bribe… and apparently that’s illegal… but the real question here is… Who pays for a 45c stamp with a $50? Really?

Speaking of nonsensical... introducing Charles E. Moore MD.

*Matching your bow tie with your cat = business.

OVERHEATING

How good is ice cream face! So life like.

So I’ve been sleeping with socks on which is giving me whack dreams… i.e: The Queen lived in a house made entirely out of my hand shadow puppets. Seriously. They flew my roommate and I to London because she needed a new house… set us up in front of this huge light and we made her house from shadow puppets and she lived in it. WTF brain?